Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A heart of discontentment

Oh boy to I need to anchor myself!!

This past week my heart has been so full of discontentment in daily tasks. It seems that everything I try to do takes ten times the effort to get it done. For instance why has it been so hard to get my Christmas cards together? I'm not happy with any of the pictures we've taken. When I finally have the three of us together to get a picture taken my dear son scrapes his toes putting him in complete hysteria making his face super blotchy with red eyes. And once I'm on the road to discontentment it is really hard to stop my heart in every upset or inconvenience of life.

Why does distant so and so have to be so difficult ALL the time? Why can't my toddler just wash his hands and come eat like I asked him too? Why can't I ever spell that word correctly the first time? Why won't my computer cursor work the way I want it too? Why does my house seem to create messes while I'm cleaning up other ones causing an endless task of picking up messes? Why can't I just get over my ego or thriftiness and hire a house cleaner to help every once and a while? Why do I have to have another cough and cold (sniff sniff, cough, cough) Why is it that we run out of TP and tissues faster than I think we should? Why? Why? Why?

Whether I want to face it or not, I know exactly why! My heart hasn't been placed on God and His word lately. My attitude is horrible and it's because I haven't been anchoring myself in Christ. I've been anchoring myself in the upsets of life causing me to be upset and irritable almost avoiding God so I don't have to face my sinful attitudes. I'm reminded of the verse in Matthew 11:28- 30, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in the heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light."

Oh how I need that and crave that today (honestly, for the past week)! I need to make time and go to God and the burdens and weariness of my attitude with be put to rest. Instead it will be replaced with God's humble and gentle heart that feels light and rested.

With all this said, I'm going to anchor myself in God's word and let my burdens melt in his hands being replaced with a light and gentle heart that God desires for me.

1 Timothy 6:6, "Godliness with contentment is great gain."

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